A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

22.9.14 at 1:33
© fearofpop
• 423368




REMINDER: if you have a vagina and want to use Plan B as an emergency contraceptive, it loses effectiveness if you weigh more than 165 lbs (74.84 kg) and is completely ineffective for those that weight more than 176 lbs (79.83 kg) (x)

Excuse me.
Let me spread the shit out of this.

This is horrifying. And sadly true.


Grateful for this kid.

But also imagine the first years the night after the banquet, then entire house sits down with them. Packed into the common room and they are scared out of their wits and the Head Boy states "We may not have the best reputation but it is up to us now to change that. We are a family. We protect each other through everything. This is your home away from home." And throughout the week the older kids pitch in and help them with homework and defend them from other houses.



this is good.

I like this.

Good job, person. *pats you on the head*




when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”

When it occured to us that “said” implies a direct quote, while “was like” clarifies that you mean to communicate the person’s tone and general point without quoting them word for word.


21.9.14 at 19:43
© pitiful
• 889052


Am I the only one who is fine with iOS8? You know, no long-ass download speeds, no problems with the photos, nothing? Or is it just me 😐

21.9.14 at 18:59
© cr4001
• 75
The Camera Roll was not only a way for the app to organize photos, it became a part of the lexicon, with its own identity. I believe people related to the Camera Roll because it had a clear and unambiguous meaning: The Camera Roll means all your pictures. And now it’s gone.
21.9.14 at 18:55
© nikkor
• 170


the acceptance of her flaws is what made her flawless


i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”

21.9.14 at 14:13
© yovahkiin
• 195949







*punches the wall*

Ya’ll should really watch the video instead of see these gifs

21.9.14 at 13:23
© sizvideos
• 201904
  • Socialism:You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism:You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation:You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation:You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation:You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation:You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation:You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation:You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation:Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture:'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism:You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism:You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist:You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism:You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation:You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation:You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Russia:You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  • PETA:You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat:You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  • Hussie:You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  • Romney:You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler:You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice:You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation:You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr:You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  • Also Tumblr:I give you a hamburger.
  • Night Vale:You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
  • Tom Hiddleston:You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
  • Thranduil:You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
  • Dwarves:You had two cows but now they're on fire.
  • Bilbo Baggins:You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
  • Cows:The shit you go through.
  • This post:Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
21.9.14 at 13:15
© americagiveup
• 624749



White girls

what the fuck are you talking about “white girls” she’s 100% right take your misogynistic bullshit out of here


"Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it."




Love how all the POC look 1000% done with this shit.

Halloween is coming up, yall

Will reblog until I stop seeing this shit every frickin’ Halloween.